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Even to the point of inviting him out to movies with us, or sometimes talking to him 1 on 1 when I’m not there. It didn’t help that Kate liked John a lot. In fact, I began to be paranoid, analyzing my every action, so that I don’t seem submissive, or feminine, which was hard to do, since he kept paying me strange compliments like “your laugh is so cute” or “your eyes are really green”, which made me even more insecure as a male, since those kind of compliments are what guys say to girls. I felt like less of a man, when I was with him, smaller, almost feminine. Over time, I began to develop an inferiority complex towards him. He wanted to study literature, and was really smart. He was athletic, though he wasn’t in any sports team, and overall a really nice, if not a little quiet, guy. I got to know John very well over the first semester. When we shook hands, I noticed how bigger, and rougher his hands were to my smooth hands. He was maybe 6’3, with ragged brown hair and beard, with a muscular frame. I was moderately tall (5’8) with blondish hair, and slender frame with a boyish look. We couldn’t have been any more different. I was surprised when I first met him, let’s call him John. When I came back, it was night, and he had already unpacked his stuffs. Because we had come so early, I had not met my roommate yet. We were both studios and were accepted to the same state university–not that surprising since state uni accepts ~40% instate students.Īnyways, first day of college, we drove with each of our families to uni, we unpacked, each had dinner with our family, and met up and explored the campus. She was in the same friend group since freshman year, and we started dating junior year. Specifically, at the time, I was dating someone I knew from high school, call her Kate obviously a fake name). I was into girls, I fantasized about girls, I dated girls.